Christian Counseling III

This opening lesson examines singleness as a counseling concern, from the never-married to the widowed, divorced, and celibate. Drawing on Adam's creation, Matthew 19, and Paul's teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 that singleness is a gift, it addresses loneliness, self-esteem, and sexual struggles, citing author John R. Stott and offering guidance for helping singles build friendships and trust God with mate selection.

Choosing a marriage partner is framed as life's second most important decision after one's relationship with Christ. Using Rebekah and Isaac, the givers-and-takers idea from James Dobson, and Gary Friesen's argument against a single predestined mate, the lesson weighs why people marry wisely or unwisely, David Field's seven marks of healthy marriages, and the biblical warning against being unequally yoked.

Premarital counseling takes center stage here as a preventative, educational ministry rather than a hurried pre-ceremonial formality. The lesson urges pastors to require at least six sessions, cites Carl Rogers on marriage failure rates, Aaron Rutledge and Herbert Miles on outcomes, and covers unrealistic expectations, changing roles, immaturity, loosening sexual standards, and key passages like 1 Corinthians 7 and Ephesians 5.

After outlining a six-session premarital format, this lesson turns to marital problems and the biblical picture of leaving, being united, and becoming one from Genesis 2:24. It surveys faulty communication, under- and over-integrated relationships, and interpersonal tension, drawing on Larry Crabb, Walter Trobisch, and Everett Worthington's three-stage counseling model of assessment, intervention, and termination.

Pregnancy issues form the heart of this session, spanning infertility, repeated miscarriage, unwanted pregnancies, SIDS, and abortion. Referencing Hannah, Psalm 127, and Jeremiah's 'before I formed you in the womb,' along with the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling and Worthington's categories of too-early and too-late pregnancies, it equips counselors to address grief, guilt, and the debate over when life begins.

Family problems are explored through healthy-family traits drawn from Dolores Curran and roles like the scapegoat, lost child, and mascot. The lesson unpacks 'snag points' in communication, intimacy, and bonding, introduces triangulation and detouring, reviews family-systems approaches from Bowen and Virginia Satir, and walks through a seven-step counseling process, closing with prevention through prayer and church seminars.

Sex within marriage is treated as a God-given gift meant for pleasure and propagation, supported by the Song of Solomon, Proverbs, and 1 Corinthians 7. Citing Masters and Johnson, Herbert Miles, and Richard Foster, the lesson addresses misinformation, stress, boredom, and dysfunction, the heightened emotional sensitivity of women, and how counselors can discuss intimacy openly without embarrassment or condemnation.

The final lesson confronts divorce and remarriage, laying out four scholarly positions and the biblical grounds of sexual immorality (porneia) and desertion from Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 7, and Deuteronomy 24. It distinguishes the divorcer from the divorcee, traces the emotional toll on spouses and children, cites Jim Smoke's guidelines for single parents, and stresses mediation, hope, and prevention.